How to Improve Self-Confidence!

Table of Contents

What is self-confidence?

What are the natural enemies of self confidence?

Fear of rejection

Fear of losing a friend or loved one

Fear of failure

Fear of people

Stand up straight

Walk faster

Shake hands firmly

Make Eye Contact

Changing your self talk

Speak "I can" instead of "I can't"

Set goals

Smile and try to think a negative thought

Using daily affirmations

What is self-confidence? 

How to gain self confidence

Today is one of those days when your group has to make a presentation to a client.  This is an important occasion because it is an opportunity to get your boss' attention.  It could mean a raise or a promotion if you could just muster the courage to stand there in front of these people and present your proposal.  The problem is, your shyness gets the better of you, and you are relegated to the background. 

You sat there mesmerized, as your colleague Elena made a winning presentation of your proposal.  She stood there, dressed in a simple gray suit that spelled confidence!  "Why can't I gather enough courage to present my work to these people when I know this project like the back of my hand," you ask yourself. 

Self confidence.  This is what you lack, and this is what your colleague Elena has.  But what is self confidence?  Is it the ability to speak in a loud voice so you can get people's attention?  Is it about power dressing?   

Self confidence is an attitude that is characterized by a positive belief that one can take control of one's life and of one's plans.   

People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things.  They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence.  It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say.  People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way. 

Factors in gaining self confidence 

While the process of attaining self confidence starts from childhood, an adult can still gain self confidence through his determination and through the support of his family and friends.   

Parental support and acceptance

People begin to develop confidence while growing up.  The role of parents in instilling self confidence in their children is very important.  Parents who are always critical of their children without acknowledging the latter's strengths unknowingly dampen the development of their self confidence.   

On the other hand, parents who are always willing to give support while encouraging their children to take a step forward will most likely rear self confident children.  Parents who make their children feel loved and accepted despite their imperfections will most likely encourage self confidence. 

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person's abilities.  In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities. 

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.    

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that.  Make full use of your strength and gather positive points.  This will help you gain self confidence.  Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way.  Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes. 

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them.   Do not under estimate yourself.  Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful.   Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person. 

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself.  It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book.  Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there.  This will give you more confidence to do other things in life. 

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself.  If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence.  Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant.  Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost. 

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration.  In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence. 

In the upcoming chapter we will narrow our focus, look at the specifics and come up with definitive ideas and suggestions that you can put to work in your life to achieve increased confidence in all you do.

To be continued

Confidence News:

MSN

Live Search: confidence site:msnbc.msn.com
Search results

Consumer confidence weakens significantly - Stocks & economy- msnbc ...
Consumer confidence plunged in February as Americans worried about less-favorable business conditions and job prospects, a business-backed research group said Tuesday.
O. Roberts head gets no confidence vote - Education- msnbc.com
Embattled Oral Roberts University president Richard Roberts, facing accusations he misspent university funds to support a lavish lifestyle, has received a vote of no confidence by ...
The cancer's gone, so where's my confidence? - Low Blow- msnbc.com
There's no accounting for how cancer changes us. Some of us work less,  play more, try to make up for lost time, "live like you were dying," as the country hit says.  I underwent ...
Latifah endorses Woman?s Confidence Day - Celebrities- msnbc.com
Proposal suggests first Wednesday in June be used to celebrate women ... Latifah endorses Woman?s Confidence Day Proposal suggests first Wednesday in June be used to celebrate ...
Consumer confidence shaken - Stocks & economy- msnbc.com
Consumer confidence, which had been on the rise since April, declined unexpectedly sharply in August, a private research group said Tuesday.

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Google

confidence - Google News
confidence - Google News

Harrington lacks confidence elusive major wins - Independent Community Newspaper

Irish Independent
Harrington lacks confidence elusive major wins
Independent Community Newspaper, New Zealand - 12 hours ago
The Irishman said on Tuesday that he wished he could take greater confidence from his titles, having added the US PGA Championship nine days ago to last ...
Harrington's success 'based on fear' Golfbidder Limited
all 51 news articles
Bad news on US housing and banks hits investor confidence - Telegraph.co.uk

Turkish Press
Bad news on US housing and banks hits investor confidence
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - 15 hours ago
Fears that the financial crisis has months, if not years, to run led shares in New York and London to tumble sharply as the global economic crisis continues ...
European Stocks Fall, More Fears For Banks Onet.pl
Reliving the S&L Meltdown Wall Street Journal
Stocks slump on housing, banks CNNMoney.com
all 707 news articles
Utah Utes football notebook: Offense finds confidence - Deseret News

Utah Utes football notebook: Offense finds confidence
Deseret News, UT - 8 hours ago
By Dirk Facer "We've got to find a way to play with confidence. When we play with confidence we are a really, really good offense and have a chance to be ...
Utah Utes blog Deseret News
all 9 news articles
US Builder Confidence Index Unchanged in August at Record Low - Bloomberg

Sabah
US Builder Confidence Index Unchanged in August at Record Low
Bloomberg - Aug 18, 2008
18 (Bloomberg) -- Confidence among US homebuilders was unchanged in August at a record low, signaling there is no relief in sight from the worst housing ...
NAHB: Builder Confidence Remains in the Cellar Wall Street Journal Blogs
Home Builder Confidence Still Awful...But Not Worse! Clusterstock
Builder Confidence Holds Steady In August National Association of Home Builders (press release)
CNNMoney.com
all 130 news articles
Dubai?s anti-piracy drive to boost consumer confidence - Al-Bawaba

Eye of Dubai (press release)
Dubai?s anti-piracy drive to boost consumer confidence
Al-Bawaba, Jordan - 3 hours ago
Dubai, United Arab Emirates, August 20, 2008: The Chief of Dubai Customs recently announced that the authority is intensifying it?s efforts to curb illegal ...
Dubais Anti-Piracy Drive To Boost Consumer Confidence Dubai City Guide
all 10 news articles

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Yahoo!

Yahoo! News Search Results for confidence
Yahoo! News Search Results for confidence

Ford hopes to boost worker confidence by letting them drive its future cars a...
DEARBORN, Mich. (AP) _ As Ford Motor Co. faces perhaps the most difficult period in its 105-year history, the company is trying to boost employee confidence by showing them ? and letting them drive ? the vehicles it hopes will pull the storied automaker out of the financial basement.
Germany: Investor Confidence Rises (New York Times)
German investor confidence recovered in August from a 16-year low the month before, as fears of an economic downturn in Europe?s biggest economy appeared to ease.
Residents' confidence in state drops, survey says (Detroit Free Press)
Thanks to the state's long-running economic slump, Michiganders' consumer confidence has plummeted to a record low, according to a new survey to be released today.
Consumer confidence in S'pore falls for the first time since 2005 (Channel Ne...
SINGAPORE: Consumer confidence in Singapore has fallen for the first time since 2005, according to the latest Nielsen Global Consumer Confidence Index.
Advisory: Ford confidence glance (AP via Yahoo! Finance)
Advisory: The Ford confidence glance was mistakenly sent online. Please note that both the glance and story are embargoed for online use until 12:01 a.m. on Wednesday.

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