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Anger Management
101
When Anger Leads to Abuse
Anger, although commonly felt and expressed, is
never an emotion to take lightly. When it reaches heightened intensity, anger
becomes wrath. And wrath, as most of us are aware of, is one of the 7 Deadliest
Sins.
In the previous chapter we discussed the
various types of anger. Now let’s take a look at some of the causes and
results.
Causes of Anger
A common cause for anger is the prevention or
incompletion of attaining our goals and desires. And since humans certainly have
numerous and different goals and desires, anger can easily erupt at any place
and time. It’s very common for people to feel frustrated and angry at the same
time because both emotions are the results of their inability to achieve their
objectives.
Another cause for anger is feeling inadequate
and disrespected; humans normally feel furious when they believe that they are
not being treated equally, fairly and justly.
Factors that Affect Anger
Fatigue – When we’re extremely tired, our minds
and bodies slow down and this sometimes makes us unable to cope with problems
that we used to have no difficulties solving. Exhaustion makes us lose our
patience and temper more than usual.
Alcohol and Drugs – It’s a well-known fact that
alcohol and drugs can have some very disastrous effects on how our minds work.
And one of such effect is controlling our tempers. Intoxication and the
influence of drugs can cause us to become easily provoked and liable to have
violent reactions to the smallest of things.
Pain – Anger is a common and understandable
effect of extreme pain. Because our mind and body are almost fully involved in
finding ways to help ourselves cope with the pain, we end up lacking the ability
to sufficiently control our temper.
Effects of Anger
Depression – Anger is often followed by
depression. When we feel particularly irate, we tend to express ourselves very
passionately. Afterwards, when we recognize such outburst as abnormal, we end up
feeling depressed and unable to cope with the reality of what we have just done.
Depression is also another emotion commonly produced by blocked goals and
desires.
Loss or Reduced Ability to Comprehend Logic –
Anger also often makes us reasonable. It makes us blind to the truth and unable
to accept what’s sensible and correct. When anger is the primary emotion being
felt, we become less able to think and act rationally and in some cases, even
our senses do not work properly because of extreme anger.
Increased Physical Strength and Courage –
Sometimes, the effects of anger can be positive. When we are threatened, we may
feel intimidated or angered. Anger gives us the power to defend ourselves
against stronger elements – and even win occasionally. Lastly, anger gives us
the ability to confront our worst fears.
Violence – Sigmund Freud once declared that
individuals may have a natural urge to become angry and violent when their goals
are blocked. Although leading psychologists had formerly disproved this theory,
recent studies have shown that people in general do have specific genes that
contribute to the likelihood of violence occurring when anger is present.
Tips on Managing Anger
Be Forgiving – Anger is generally a destructive
behavior. When something causes us to feel angry, we should just remind
ourselves that anger will achieve NOTHING. Forgiveness however will give us
peace of mind and contentment.
That’s Life – Sometimes, we have very
justifiable reasons for feeling angry. Nevertheless, the validity of our
emotions doesn’t provide us a solution. In these cases, it’s best to simply tell
ourselves “that’s life” and move on. There’s truly nothing more to do but that.
Dwelling on the bad stuff and letting our anger take control of our lives is
simply a waste of time.
Find an Acceptable Outlet – It’s healthy for us
to express our emotions – and that goes for anger as well. However, we must
express it in acceptable, non-violent and productive means. Since anger
generally increases our strength and energy, why not use it to tackle important
goals in our lives?
Know Your Limits – If you already know that
you’re easily angered, constantly remind yourself that there’s always a
possibility your anger will push you to commit acts of violence.
It is quite normal for us to feel anger at
certain times in our lives. Permanently suppressing anger will, in fact, simply
cause us to act abnormally. What’s not normal is when our anger seems to have no
bounds and expressing it tends to have very violent consequences. When this
happens, it’s imperative that you seek help immediately. Leaving it unchecked
may prove to be fatal not only to yourself but to your loved ones as well.
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