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Anger Management
101
Learning Better Communication
Techniques
Manage your Anger by Learning to Communicate
Better.
For at least once in our lives, we have all
felt anger – either at a person, a circumstance, or both. We all know what it
feels like to be so completely infuriated at someone (or something) that we
almost reach our boiling point.
And while anger is considered to be a normal –
if not healthy – emotion, as we have discussed, it can also dangerously take
over a person’s life if it gets out of control and destructive, leaving him
feeling as if he was at the mercy of a vicious, powerful and uncontrollable
emotion.
Thankfully there are ways to prevent or manage
such extreme levels of anger. And one very important step to proper anger
management is learning better communication skills.
Now, anger and communication may seem like two
entirely different things, but they are actually quite related – and the
improvement of the former may be one of the best solutions for the control of
the latter. Here are a few explanations:
Better communication allows you to assert
yourself.
You might think that being assertive is the
same as being aggressive as we previously discussed. And while they are both
possible ways to express and show one’s anger, they are entirely different in
approach, and lead to entirely different consequences.
To begin with, while becoming aggressive due to
anger may lead to violence, be it physical or emotional, being assertive allows
a person to express himself in a healthier, less harmful approach, leading one
to share the root and possible causes of his anger by communicating it
appropriately. As such, while being aggressive leads to more problems and even
more damage, the consequences of becoming assertive are far less harmful, and
may even be constructive and helpful.
Constant and open communication keeps you from
“bottling up” your hidden emotions – and more importantly, your hidden anger,
for that matter.
People can be like volcanoes – they lay dormant
for years and years, on the surface seemingly at peace, but underneath they are
actually boiling with anger, ready to erupt at any moment. To avoid such
destructive “eruptions”, that is, to keep one’s anger at bay, it is important
for a person to be able to regularly vent frustrations in a healthy and
manageable way.
And the most practical approach to this is by
sharing and relating them to other people. You may talk to your friends, your
significant other, or a psychiatrist. In any case, verbally expressing the
potential sources of anger is an effective solution to keep a person from those
eruptions of anger.
Better communication skills lead to better
listening skills.
Communication doesn’t always have to mean being
able to talk about one’s feelings openly – it also means being able to listen
intently to others. And listening is of great importance when trying to keep
your anger at bay.
For instance, should you find yourself in a
highly intense argument with another person your uncontrolled anger may lead you
to become extremely aggressive and even violent, to the point of no logic or
reason. But if at first you had attempted to listen to the other person’s side
of the story instead of hastily and angrily defending yours, you would have
saved yourself the headache and the damage brought about by a fist fight and a
bad reputation.
Better communication means you think before you
speak (and act).
People who can’t seem to control their anger
often find themselves jumping to conclusions – they allow themselves to be taken
over by their emotions and eventually find themselves acting on pure instinct,
without logic or reason.
With better communication skills, a person
learns to find calm in a heated argument or an extremely tense situation, able
to step back and think about what’s going on. This way, he is able to decide on
a more appropriate method of addressing a problem and finding a solution.
Besides, no one ever got ahead by jumping to conclusions.
There are many ways to improve your
communication skills and better deal with anger management issues. You can try
self-help books, or seeking the advice of a psychiatrist. Whatever approach you
choose, it is your willingness to learn and change your ways that will help you
resolve your issues.
>>>
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