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Anger Management
101
Early Warning Signs and Your
Triggers
Know when you are about to get angry
Contrary to popular belief, anger is normal,
natural and healthy because it is a human emotion.
Anger actually is a good sign to help people
know that there is something that should be resolved or corrected somewhere,
somehow. Anger is usually motivated by something that was brought about by an
action that is quite uncomfortable and it being uncomfortable means that it is
such, for a reason.
Anger, if properly managed, can help right a
possible wrong. It could also help solve a particular problem and even find a
probable solution. However, anger is also a double-edged sword wherein – if
used in a negative manner - could also be a force enough to destroy people,
relationships or even your own health.
Usually, there are warning signs prior to anger
exploding on an uncontrollable level. It is best that you are aware of these
triggers as it could help you prepare on how to respond or how to be in command
of this very powerful emotion.
Recognizing these signs early on could help you
avoid feeling regret later because of an incident that got out of control or
those words that you wished you never said but are now just too late to take
back.
How tense are you
Usual signs of pre-explosive anger are tense
muscles. Observe how and what you feel in your neck Are the muscles in your
neck taut? If so, prepare to relax and get hold of yourself. Inhaling and
exhaling slowly helps relax all those tensions.
Teeth gritting is gritty
Usually when gritting your teeth happens, the
jaws become tight. How much do you do this? If usually and always, prepare to
psyche yourself to relax. Anger cannot be quenched by more anger. Slowly but
surely, try to acknowledge the feeling until you think you could let it go
without much fanfare or unnecessary drama.
When angry, the face becomes flushed
This is easily perceptible as the blood
circulates more than normal, brought about by the intense emotion due to anger.
If this happens, the best way to deal with this situation is to relax and keep
your cool. Imagine how much energy you could save by responding in a
non-traditional manner. Put your effort to where your power should be – use it
instead to be productive.
When angry, hands are clenched
See how in the movies, men who are about to
punch someone first clench their fists and then deliver that blow? This
emotional process also works the same way in real life. When anger comes to the
forefront of vulnerable emotion, the whole body actually becomes tight. And it
is the hand that is usually the more obvious expression of it.
When angry, the voice becomes loud
Intentionally or not, this raising of the voice
is one of the more common and traditional ways to know one is angry. The
opposite of this is cold stony silence. Both are meant to intimidate. All are
unhealthy, both for the one raising the voice and the one giving the silence, as
well as the recipients.
The best thing about these triggers is that
they are all, believe it or not, controllable. It depends on how much you want
to be controlled by the triggers. When you are really angry, calm yourself
down. But if you have crossed the threshold and it is a bit too late to turn
back, deep breathing would help you a lot. This relaxes your body. Remember
how children are advised to count to ten when angry, this method actually
works. But if counting to ten does not work, try counting to twenty.
Talking to yourself also helps. Try to tell
yourself to be calm, think, do not lose it, what are the consequences of my
actions?
These positive talks can help take the focus
from the anger-inducing event and on the questions that really matter. It also
has the tendency to make you less angry.
All in all, anger only gets to you when you let
it. So do not let it. It is your choice after all.
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