A Child’s
Guide to Eldercare
Who Takes
Responsibility?
Determining Who Takes Responsibility for Aging
Parents
During the first few months of adjustment, it
would be natural for things to become awkward between you and your parents.
After all, it’s difficult for both parties to accept that their roles have
permanently reversed; now, it’s the parents who are in need of care, and it’s
the children who have to provide all the caring.
The Proper Time and Place to Discuss Who Takes
Responsibility
If you’re not an only child, you – or any of
your siblings, older or younger – must set up a meeting among all of you, but
away from your parents’ sight and hearing. This is necessary because you’ll be
discussing several sensitive issues concerning your parents, and these topics
may unduly cause pain to your parents if they hear about it.
So…Who Takes Responsibility?
Everyone must take responsibility for caring
for one’s aging parents. Your parents have no doubt dedicated their time,
effort, and lives to ensure that all of you have brighter futures to look
forward to. They have given you unconditional love and support. It is every
child’s responsibility to return the gifts they have received from their parents
by giving them back the love and care they’ve been showered with over the
years.
Responsibilities Must Be Shared
Even though one of your siblings may be willing
to shoulder all responsibilities of taking care of your aging parents, this
responsibility is better shared by everyone else. Talk and see who among you is
better suited to handle which responsibility. Siblings with thriving careers
would be more suited to taking care of the financial aspect of caring for aging
parents. Those who have lots of free time on their hands can take care of seeing
to their parents’ business concerns, and other matters that they may no longer
have the will or energy to take care of.
Talk to Your Parents
Once you and your siblings have agreed about
who does what and when, it’s time to talk to your parents. You must, however,
let your parents voice their wishes first to see if their desires coincide with
the plans you’re about to set in motion. If it doesn’t, find a compromise.
Remember to be very tactful when discussing this particular topic with your
parents; one wrong word and your parents might think you’re looking for a way to
get rid of them!
Personal Care or Hired Services?
Seeing to your obligations to your parents
doesn’t necessarily mean that all of you might have to disorganize your lives to
personally tend to your parents’ care. If you don’t think your parents would be
hurt with such a decision, you could consider hiring a caregiver or relocate
your parents to a nursing home. Keep in mind, however, that some parents feel
they’re being abandoned and neglected when their children choose to send them to
nursing homes.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Hiring a
Caregiver
Pros – You can employ a live-in caregiver for
your parents and ensure that all their needs are fully met at whatever time of
the day. A caregiver is also equipped to handle a lot of medical and nursing
tasks that you may not be presently capable of.
Cons – Having a caregiver can be costly,
depending on the wages being asked. Entrusting the lives of your parents to a
total stranger is also a big decision to make, especially when it turns out that
the caregiver you’ve hired is irresponsible and/or negligent.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Sending Your
Parents to a Nursing Home
Pros – You’ll feel doubly safe with your
parents installed in a nursing home because a whole crew of medical
professionals is present 24/7, ready to serve all the needs of their patients.
Living in a nursing home isn’t always sad; it might even be fun once your
parents find lots of companions their age to hang out with.
Cons – Besides the expected costs, sending your
parents to a nursing home may also constitute as an act of abandonment and
betrayal in their eyes.
It’s What They Want that Counts the Most
Always remember that. No matter how strong,
healthy, or rich your parents are their age is a good indication that they only
have a few years left to enjoy their lives. Make it your personal obligation to
ensure that they’ll retire in utmost comfort and with contentment.
>>> Table
of Contents
Eldercare News:
MSN
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Google
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Yahoo!
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